How to Stand in Your Power After You Leave

Hello to everyone

To those of you who have been in an abusive relationship and found the courage to leave, we are not alone.  We are still standing! We are standing in our truth!  We are standing in our strength! We are standing in our Power!  Many of us had to make the decision to leave the person who told us they loved us the most.  But remember,  “Love doesn’t have to hurt”.

I am so glad you decided to leave and you are in a safe place.  The most important thing is that you and your children are safe.  And if you don’t have children, then you are safe.

When I left my abusive relationship I had a girlfriend that I confided in and I also attended counseling with an agency for domestic violence in my area.  If you have a girlfriend, family member or are residing in a shelter, praise God you are safe.

Yes, you are going to miss him and yes, he is going to try to convince you to come back home, if he knows where you are.  Continue to be strong and each day it will get easier and easier.  Stand in your power after leaving!

What helped me after taking him back a thousand times was to start journaling. When I thought about all the good times, which didn’t amount to a lot, I read the journal again to keep me focused on what I had to do. I also realized that he really didn’t love me and didn’t care about me and I am better without him.  I grew tired of listening to the broken promises and dreams. I also realized that he choose me because I had a good heart and spirit, only to use me. Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt.

If you decide to go back, be safe and have a safety plan and back up plan in place. Make sure he attends counseling for domestic violence.  Regular counseling or anger management will not address the problems of domestic violence.

It took me awhile to get to where I am today. I left and went back to him several times before I finally left for good.  Never forget that God loves you and you are beautiful and very special.  Love yourself and be safe.

Thanks for reading and share. Please leave a comment.

Best and be safe,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Deciding to Leave Your Abuser

Deciding to leave your abuser.  If you are hoping, and praying your abuser will change?

It good to pray.  They have to let God change them.  You can’t change them.  Real change comes from the person. The abuse will happen again, if they don’t seek counseling from a domestic violence counselor.  Create a support system of trusted family and friends.  There is also agencies in your area.

Things to do.  Please keep  private from your abuser.  Keep a journal to document the abuse.  Collect important papers and clothing in a safe place.  Extra set of keys.  Notify your job, school or daycare.

Abusers have deep rooted emotional and probably psychological problems.  It takes time to change.    The hardest part is leaving and you worry about what will happen once you leave.  Love Doesn’t have to Hurt.

Signs that your abuser is not changing:

1. He minimizes that abuse

2. He tells you if you wouldn’t have done this or that then it wouldn’t happen

3. You have to push them to seek counseling

4.  If you leave, they will commit suicide or kill you.

5.  He pressures you

6. Know your abuser

7. Be safe by making up a code to use in a time of emergency

8.  Identify safe places in the home

9. Make an escape plan

Be safe and seek help

All the best,

Denise

Thanks for reading and leave comment.

Finding you? Your Purpose in Life

When we stay in abusive relationships we suffer and our children suffer the most.  Most times we lose us, our purpose and dreams in life, only to survive.  It’s time to get back to finding you!

Your Purpose in LIfe

What did Jesus say? After praying and read the Word of God.Read these scriptures

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33).

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV).

“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).

A life without purpose is like a car without a steer wheel.  We lose so much of us when we give our abuser the power to control our life.  Living everyday is a struggle for us but we can that by trusting in God having a personal relationship with Him.  Once we have that personal relationship, we will begin to love ourself.  When we love us, then we will make better choices.  Only then, we will leave that abusive relationship and the only thing we can offer them is our prayers and forgiveness.  Before you leave your abuser make sure you have a safe place to stay along with your information papers like birth certificates,social security cards, passports, life insurance papers, bonds, bank accounts, immunization records and please notify the schools and take his name off the emergency contacts.   Because only God can change people. if they let Him.

God is all knowing, so He is better to guide our life.  We can always trust God because He is the same. yesterday and forever more.  But people do change and some times its not for the better.

Ask yourself these questions to find out and write them down to hold your self accountable.

What is your purpose in life?

What do you feel deep in your spirit?

What ignites your passion in your soul?

What comes nature for you?

What idea or ideas you can’t let go of?

What can you do for free?

What do you do and you forget about the time?

Once you answer all these questions, you should know your purpose.

Happy finding,

God bless and remember to share to be a blessing to someone else.

Denise