What Can We Do to end Abuse become WHOLE

Hello Family and Friends, Good morning!

Become whole means feeling secure, confidence, and peace with self.

Today, I can say that I am Whole. We can overcome any thing we put our minds to, including domestic violence and emotional abuse.  It takes Determination.  I did it!  Now I am safe, having joy and peace.

Believe me it didn’t happen overnight. Healing physical scars was one thing, but healing emotional scars took a lot longer.

 I cannot promise the road to overcoming abuse will be easy or the process time will be short but with support, knowledge and determination you can do it too.  What I can promise, is that you can do it if you try. 

If it never get dealt with, then the cycle of abuse continues.  Only when the cycle of abuse is broken, ended then healing comes. 

God is the true Healer.  You are Awesome, amazing and worth it. So take control of your life.

Tips that work:

Listen-practice active listening when someone shares their story of abuse with you.

Repeat back what you think you heard them say to you without judgement.

Focus on supporting and have love for them because abuse is difficult and confusing.

Encourage them to be around positive family and friends.

Pick up a book, hobby, or class.

Remember trouble don’t last always, joy does come in the morning.

That’s empowerment. And remember to pass love. knowledge, and encouragement on to someone else.

All the best,

Grace girl, Denise M. Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

I look forward to reading your posts and comments.  Leave a message.

Children living in home with Domestic Abuse

kids_DV

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over another person.  Statistics states 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.  With that being said, think about how many children that’s experiencing domestic violence in the home.

Children living in a home with domestic abuse is more times likely to be depressed, have anxiety and afraid.  They also suffer abuse and neglect 30% to 60%.  More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.   And the third leading cause of homelessness among families.

Domestic violence is not just a family thing but it’s a community thing.  It cost more than $37 billion a year in law enforcement involvement, legal work and medical treatment.  This is what I mean- Parents we are responsible for our children.  Take our babies to church and learn the ways of Jesus Christ.  When our babies grow up with good manners and morals and love God.  When you love God, you will love yourself and you will choose good.  It might not work this way for everybody but it’s better than doing nothing.

When you are broken mentally and physically you are vulnerable.  It’s easier for you to live with domestic violence and abuse.  Please think of your children.  If you are living with domestic violence get help.  It is time to save you and your children.  God loves you and you deserve the best.

Signs of Physical Abuse on Children

1. Bruise, burns, cuts, broken bones, scars

2. Acting out at home and school.

3. Shy away

4. Sudden jumping, flinches thinking you are going to get hit.

Signs of Emotional Abuse on Children

1. Attitude and mood changes.

2.Bedwetting and developmental delays

3. Doesn’t bond with abusive parent

4. Withdrawn

5. Passive behavior

6. Rocking or thumbsucking.

Signs of Sexual Abuse on Children

1. Sexually touching other children.

2.Depression.

3. Afraid to be alone.

4. Pain, itching and bleeding from private parts.

5. It’s hurts to walk or sit.

6. Suicide

Practice safety plan and teach your children word that you would say when you need help from your abuser.

Be safe,

Denise

Leave any comments or questions.

What Are We Showing Our Chilldren

TyKaihugHi family and friends,

My name is Denise and I am speaking from my own experiences. I grew up with both of my parents. My mom was very passive and submissive to my dad. My mom was a loving mom not only to her children, but other people too. In turn, my dad was very abusive and abused alcohol. Growing up witnessing domestic violence in the home hurt very much. It affected the whole family negatively. I was afraid most of the time, because I did not know why or when my dad was going to be abusive. I also learned not to trust a lot of people. I learned to be on guard, to protect myself. I was powerless to change the abuse we experienced. Because I didn’t know how to. As I got older I prayed a lot. In school, I was withdrawn and not involved in a lot of activities. I had a lot of nightmares. Just sharing some of the things I went through. MY whole life consisted of home, school and church. Did I tell, what was going on with me? NO. As I got older, I continued to be passive and lacked confidence. So, I am asking…What are you showing are children?

Just think a minute. We are role models to our family, friends and others, they are looking at us. Growing up I saw or heard my daddy yelling and used bad words. I saw and felt emotional and physical abuse, as a child, I thought it was okay, a normal way of life. After going through sexual, emotional and domestic violence myself. Over time, I learned better and I want to share with others, mainly children, that it’s not okay to hurt others. Love doesn’t have to hurt. You learn to forgive and heal from domestic violence. And the healing process does take time.

If you want your children and others to do positive things, we have to show or teach them positive things. Talking to others with respect. And teaching problem-solving when you have disagreements. Use loving words not fight with words or hit with your hands.

If you want responsible children, we have to show and teach our children how to be responsible. How to make money, then save a portion, give a portion to the church and share a portion with someone in need.

If you want trustworthy children, we have to show and teach our children how to be trustworthy. By telling the truth and showing loyalty and have values.

It is so very important to teach our children the way they should go. We are blessed with beautiful babies to love, cherish, teach, disciple, and show the Love of Jesus.

Our children are the next generation. The future president, lawyer, dentist, preacher, with endless possibilities. Let’s do our very best to make sure our children do the best and get the best by teaching and showing them the Love of Jesus. We all need to pattern our life after Jesus, to be our very best.

Children do what they see you do. Please remember domestic violence is not the answer to a problem, but the problem. Once we love and respect ourself, we can love and respect others. It always start with us and at home.

God bless you,

Denise

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