Rebuilding after…Grace girl!

Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse is one of the hardest things to survive. Just know you can do it! You are free from your abusive, please continue to safety plan. 

Tips:

  • Change your phone number and get caller ID.
  • Change your locks and check windows.
  • Change your work hours and your routes to and from work.
  • Tell family and friends to be alert.
  • Get a restraining order.

It’s time to think about you. When was the last time you did something just for you?  Think about what could  make you happy?  What brings you joy?  

Read a good book?  Get a facial? When was the last time? If you can’t answer, then it’s time you start PAMPERING  YOU!

Keys…You are so beautiful, loving and kind.  You spend so much of your time focusing on others.  Yes, they appreciate it.  And you feel good also. I know it’s hard rebuilding yourself after an abusive relationship. The journey is long but we are worth it.

Everyday we should thank God, eat a balanced meal, exercise, drink plenty of water and pray.

It’s also nice to have some me time.  If you love and appreciate yourself.  spend time with yourself, then you can carry so much more love over to others.  Joy and happiness comes from you and no one else.  Your family, friends and others may positively affect your mood sometimes.

Others love to be around people that are likable.

1.  Think about what you love about yourself?

2.  What makes you happy?

3.  What brings you joy?

4.  Instead of focusing on celebrating once you get that new job, or make your next million, have fun now!  Celebrate each day that God gives you breath.

Be blessed,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Prevent Teen Violence

Teens this is for you. Your life Matters. Love every part of you.

February is teen dating violence awareness month

April is sexual assault awareness month

Statistics from loveisrespect.org

  • Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
  • One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
  • One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
  • One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.
  • Approximately 70% of college students say they have been sexually coerced.

A warning means act now or get out before the exploration

1.  If you are called bad words, verbally abusing or names over the phone/text or chat end the relationship.

2.  Threatening you or self if you don’t do what they ask you to do.

3.  Minimizing your feeling or thoughts, like what you say don’t matter.

4.  Coercing you into sending sexual pictures, which is a crime.

5.  Demanding your phone and password, or on your social media sites.

6.  Threatening to post humiliating information about you or lying on you.

7.  Keeping you away from family or friends.

8.  Checking up on you or following you.

9.  Getting angry if you can’t spend time with him.

10.  Blaming yo.u

11.  Extremely jealous, moody or insecure.

12.  Physically hitting.

13. Explosive temper

14. You are afraid to disagree with your boyfriend or girlfriend because what they might do.

These are some of the warning signs, please tell your parents, a trusted friend and police.

This month, I plan to publish a book called “I Love Me from Pieces Made Whole” just for you.

Grace girls rock, remember love doesn’t have to hurt.

Be safe,

Denise

Please comment and feel free to share post. Thank you for reading and visiting the site.

Grace Girls Bill of Rights for Survivors

I am me and I have a right to be ME.

I am a queen of the most high.

I have the right to feel safe and be safe at all times.

I have the right to feel love and be respected.

I am not perfect but deserve to be treated right.

I have the right to go and see who I want to see without fear.

I have the right to ask questions, make decisions that affect me.

I am my own person, with my own goals and needs.

Sweet Orange Zest Scrub

Bestcurlfriend

This homemade body and face scrub smells sooooooooo amazing! I literally used a few simple ingredients I already had around the house including sweet orange essential oil and zest from my kid’s oranges. This scrub leave my body feeling refreshed and well moisturized so it’s perfect for moms on-the-go. Grape seed oil has tons of benefits for the skin so it’s a win, it’s one of the best (if not best) oils for the skin. You can swap for Coconut, Or Avocado oil. Go with how you feel!

These make perfect gifts for friends. It saves you money, and it’s natural! Use body scrubs once a week or whenever you need a refresher!

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 Pink Himalayan salt
  • 1/2 grape seed oil
  • 20 drops sweet orange essential oil
  • 1 tsp Orange Zest (add more for smell)

Mix well.

Show me your results below!

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Believe

love-11

Hello,   How many of us are still living by our emotions?  In God’s unchanging Word, it is wise not to live by our emotions.

Our emotions will guide us in the wrong direction.  Emotions change! Domestic violence and abuse affects our emotions instead of what we see. Believe in what you see your abuser do and say.  It will lead you to safety.

God wants us to be stable in all our ways. Domestic violence and abuse is not stable. It’s like living with two completely different people.

believe

Only you know when enough is enough.  You do deserve the best of what life can offer you. Key point, don’t follow your feelings or emotions, but focus on the facts. The Principle. Take care.

Peace and blessings,

Denise

Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt

The Effects of Domestic Violence and Abuse on the family. The Order of Protection Process

Domestic violence is very serious, it can affect men, women and children. Usually men are the abusers, but men can also be abused. When children  witness domestic violence, that’s trauma. Children are at a greater risk of having emotional, behavior issues, be sexually abused and have learning problems.

You can recover, but it will take hard work on your part. And you are going to have to want it. You should talk with God,  a trusted family member, friend or counselor.  God is the true healer. So please don’t leave Him out of your recovery.

It  will affect you mentally and physically. We’re not the same and things don’t affect everyone in the same way. When you are experiencing or living with domestic violence you don’t feel safe or secure most of the time, and it causes you to have trouble sleeping and dealing with life. Some days you don’t want to get out of bed to face the day. You start isolating yourself from family and friends. Your behavior changes at work or school. You begin to lose trust and faith in people. It causes you to feel helpless and hopeless because of the shame and guilt. But it is not your fault. It’s your abuser that has the problem and needs help. But they have to want to change.

I know, because I witnessed domestic violence as a child growing up, then I married a man, that I though loved me. Then again, I guess he did love me, but he had a problem and he abused me for many, many years. I stayed, because I didn’t know any better at first, then over time, I thought I could change him. I thought I could be enough for him to want to change.  That didn’t happen.

Now, I live to help others by sharing my story.

So why is it not recognized or why is it overlooked as a serious crime, especially if its emotional abuse vs physical abuse? I believe physical, emotional and sexual abuse are equally serious crimes and both of these problems should be addressed. Most cases involve men hitting, punching, threatening and emotionally abusing women. But men can get abused too. It also affects children growing up seeing and hearing their parents fight and witnessing the abuse.

Abuse kills your spirit, causes depression and low self-esteem.

The Cycle of Abuse goes in a circle like this: The abuse occurs. He then starts to feel guilty and then he makes excuses.  The fantasy begins –  he gives you flowers, candy, sweet talks you and then wants to make love with you.  Then the setup – the abuse starts again!

Verbal, physical and emotional abuse done to your spouse or partner is done to dominate and control. There are also more ways to abuse the other person  – like financial abuse, spiritual abuse, abusing a pet and sexual abuse.

Abuse

Guilt

Excuses

Normal behavior

Fantasy

Setup

The first step is recognizing the abuse. Once you realize you are being abused decide if you are going to leave or stay in the relationship. Please protect yourself. Utilize people, agencies and resources that are out there to help. If you decide you want to get an order of protection – go to your local courthouse.  The service is free for domestic violence cases. You have to fill out the paperwork and you have to be very detailed and honest.  There are also clerks in the office to answer questions.  After you turn in your paperwork, a judge will look over them and may need to speak with you.  At that time you may be granted a temporary protection order and you will get four copies.  One copy for yourself, the police department, the courts and then your abuser will be served.  If you have a picture of him and describe him it will make it easier for him to be located and served.  You will then be given a court date if all of the facts go in your favor you should receive a permanent Oder of Protection.  Be safe – Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt!

God bless,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Please leave any question or comments.

Part 2 of Forgiveness Introducing my Guest Blogger

A couple weeks ago we talked about Forgiveness. My guest blogger is Vivian.  I interviewed Vivian on the steps of forgiveness she’s taken.  Bringing Part 2 of Forgiveness

Vivian’s word of wisdom on Forgiveness. Vivian’s speaking from experience, while growing up she had to endure betrayal from people that supposed to love her.

Learning to forgive and let go of the past. The past doesn’t mean last year, it could be last week, or even yesterday.

Step 1
Give your life to Jesus Christ and have Relationship with God
The first thing, realize the Love of God. John 3:16
The first fruit of the Spirit is Love
Manifest that Love, and walk in the fruit of the Spirit.
First Fruit is the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Long-Suffering, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness, Meekness and Self-Control.

Step 2
Read Psalms 23 Daily That I may see God face in the scriptures

Step 3
Believe

Step 4

If you never forgive, how can you go or move forward?

Think of this: “If you say I forgive you butI will never forget.” Then if you are always bring it up then you’re still in bondage to it. Meaning you haven’t forgiven.

When you truly forgive…
True forgiven comes through the Grace of God because God takes the hurt and pain out of it. God gives you his Beauty for our ashes.

Quote
I can forgive but It can’t forget, its only another way of saying I will not forgive. A Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the person.
Henry Ward Beecher

Please leave comments and share my blog with others.

 

Best,

Denise