Children living in home with Domestic Abuse

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Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over another person.  Statistics states 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.  With that being said, think about how many children that’s experiencing domestic violence in the home.

Children living in a home with domestic abuse is more times likely to be depressed, have anxiety and afraid.  They also suffer abuse and neglect 30% to 60%.  More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year.   And the third leading cause of homelessness among families.

Domestic violence is not just a family thing but it’s a community thing.  It cost more than $37 billion a year in law enforcement involvement, legal work and medical treatment.  This is what I mean- Parents we are responsible for our children.  Take our babies to church and learn the ways of Jesus Christ.  When our babies grow up with good manners and morals and love God.  When you love God, you will love yourself and you will choose good.  It might not work this way for everybody but it’s better than doing nothing.

When you are broken mentally and physically you are vulnerable.  It’s easier for you to live with domestic violence and abuse.  Please think of your children.  If you are living with domestic violence get help.  It is time to save you and your children.  God loves you and you deserve the best.

Signs of Physical Abuse on Children

1. Bruise, burns, cuts, broken bones, scars

2. Acting out at home and school.

3. Shy away

4. Sudden jumping, flinches thinking you are going to get hit.

Signs of Emotional Abuse on Children

1. Attitude and mood changes.

2.Bedwetting and developmental delays

3. Doesn’t bond with abusive parent

4. Withdrawn

5. Passive behavior

6. Rocking or thumbsucking.

Signs of Sexual Abuse on Children

1. Sexually touching other children.

2.Depression.

3. Afraid to be alone.

4. Pain, itching and bleeding from private parts.

5. It’s hurts to walk or sit.

6. Suicide

Practice safety plan and teach your children word that you would say when you need help from your abuser.

Be safe,

Denise

Leave any comments or questions.

Tips to help prevent child sexual abuse

TyKaihugWe love our children and need to keep them safe.  It’s our responsibility as parents or guardians to protect them.  Taking responsibility is the first step.

  1.  We are busy with our jobs and life, but we must stay connected with our children.  Be aware of what they watch on television, computer use and other technology.
  2. Set up boundaries.  Family boundaries to teach respect for yourself and other family members.  If you respect you, you can also respect others.
  3. Teach it’s okay to say “No”. I respect your privacy.
  4. Talk about the things that are bothering you.
  5. Speak up if you see or hear inappropriate behavior.
  6. It’s okay to report anything you think is sexual abuse against anyone.
  7. Tell your children the proper name for their body parts.
  8. Teach your children about good touches, bad touches, sexual touches and what’s not okay.
  9. Teach your children about good secrets and bad secrets.
  10. Let your children know if anybody tell them,”they will hurt your parents or they will not believe you.  Don’t believe them.”  As your parent or guardian I will always believe you and you will not be in trouble.

Thank you for taking your time to read and comment on my article.  Also share with others.

Denise

What Are We Showing Our Chilldren

TyKaihugHi family and friends,

My name is Denise and I am speaking from my own experiences. I grew up with both of my parents. My mom was very passive and submissive to my dad. My mom was a loving mom not only to her children, but other people too. In turn, my dad was very abusive and abused alcohol. Growing up witnessing domestic violence in the home hurt very much. It affected the whole family negatively. I was afraid most of the time, because I did not know why or when my dad was going to be abusive. I also learned not to trust a lot of people. I learned to be on guard, to protect myself. I was powerless to change the abuse we experienced. Because I didn’t know how to. As I got older I prayed a lot. In school, I was withdrawn and not involved in a lot of activities. I had a lot of nightmares. Just sharing some of the things I went through. MY whole life consisted of home, school and church. Did I tell, what was going on with me? NO. As I got older, I continued to be passive and lacked confidence. So, I am asking…What are you showing are children?

Just think a minute. We are role models to our family, friends and others, they are looking at us. Growing up I saw or heard my daddy yelling and used bad words. I saw and felt emotional and physical abuse, as a child, I thought it was okay, a normal way of life. After going through sexual, emotional and domestic violence myself. Over time, I learned better and I want to share with others, mainly children, that it’s not okay to hurt others. Love doesn’t have to hurt. You learn to forgive and heal from domestic violence. And the healing process does take time.

If you want your children and others to do positive things, we have to show or teach them positive things. Talking to others with respect. And teaching problem-solving when you have disagreements. Use loving words not fight with words or hit with your hands.

If you want responsible children, we have to show and teach our children how to be responsible. How to make money, then save a portion, give a portion to the church and share a portion with someone in need.

If you want trustworthy children, we have to show and teach our children how to be trustworthy. By telling the truth and showing loyalty and have values.

It is so very important to teach our children the way they should go. We are blessed with beautiful babies to love, cherish, teach, disciple, and show the Love of Jesus.

Our children are the next generation. The future president, lawyer, dentist, preacher, with endless possibilities. Let’s do our very best to make sure our children do the best and get the best by teaching and showing them the Love of Jesus. We all need to pattern our life after Jesus, to be our very best.

Children do what they see you do. Please remember domestic violence is not the answer to a problem, but the problem. Once we love and respect ourself, we can love and respect others. It always start with us and at home.

God bless you,

Denise

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