Grace Girls Bill of Rights for Survivors

I am me and I have a right to be ME.

I am a queen of the most high.

I have the right to feel safe and be safe at all times.

I have the right to feel love and be respected.

I am not perfect but deserve to be treated right.

I have the right to go and see who I want to see without fear.

I have the right to ask questions, make decisions that affect me.

I am my own person, with my own goals and needs.

Focus on the Possibilities

Good morning, today is a new day.  Let’s talk about using the things that has hurt you or your failures to inspire your greatness.

Most of us has a story. Turn your negative into a positive by helping someone else.

I encourage you to learn from your life experiences and turn a negative into a positive to work toward growth and development to better your life.

Remember your Failures and your Success equals Growth.

Pressure makes rubies and diamonds, so Grace Girls be empower to start turning a negative situation into positive possibilities.  

Relax and focus on your passion. Think about what you can do with thinking about it?

Find your purpose.

After you find your purpose set goals. For example, I mentor women dealing with domestic violence and abuse. I work at a domestic violence shelter. I am a believer and I love what I do.

Empowering Grace Girls and my goal is to open a Grace Girls home. The vision to Make a Difference.

My first step is to set daily, weekly, and monthly goals. I will work on my plan everyday. Planning is the most important step and God will do the rest. If I can write it out, I can achieve it.

Always remember to make a plan. Thanks for reading and come again.

Comments are always welcome.

blessings,

Denise

Sweet Orange Zest Scrub

Bestcurlfriend

This homemade body and face scrub smells sooooooooo amazing! I literally used a few simple ingredients I already had around the house including sweet orange essential oil and zest from my kid’s oranges. This scrub leave my body feeling refreshed and well moisturized so it’s perfect for moms on-the-go. Grape seed oil has tons of benefits for the skin so it’s a win, it’s one of the best (if not best) oils for the skin. You can swap for Coconut, Or Avocado oil. Go with how you feel!

These make perfect gifts for friends. It saves you money, and it’s natural! Use body scrubs once a week or whenever you need a refresher!

Ingredients:

  • 1 1/2 Pink Himalayan salt
  • 1/2 grape seed oil
  • 20 drops sweet orange essential oil
  • 1 tsp Orange Zest (add more for smell)

Mix well.

Show me your results below!

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Self-Care

Good morning,

If you experienced domestic violence or abuse, it’s very important to practice self-care of our bodies physically, emotionally, and mentally.

What is Self-Care? Self-care equal pamper yourself! Trust! Believe in you. You deserve to feel better, stronger, and more alive. When you practice self-care you rest and recharge makes your better, stronger and more alive.

Empowerment is self-care builds self-esteem, self-worth, and make your own decisions.

Things to make your life easier, and healthier:

1. Journal or List all your personal strengths and reflect on them often. Take time to prioritize your day.

2. List all the things you are grateful for and reasons why. Focus on the positive! Laugh. Smile often.

3. No one is perfect, so let that go.

4. Exercise 10 to 30 minutes daily.

5. Practice praying, meditation and breathing techniques.

6. Get enough sleep.

7. Drink plenty of water.

8. Remove people that are no good for you. Look for people you admire, or who can be your role model, or mentor.

9. Organize one room at a time.

10.Believe in yourself, you deserve it!

11. Listen to music.

12. Call a trusted friend or family member.

13. Sit on the porch. Enjoy fresh air and sunlight.

14. Take a shower using some homemade sugar scrubs.

15. Schedule a Spa night at home (facial, pedicure, and/or manicure)

16. Color, draw, write, or read.

17. Create your own vision board from magazines and writings.

18. Spend time alone.

19. Grab a glass of wine, tea, or coffee and sip in the tub. Be safe and responsible.

Remember you are worth it. Enjoy!

Come back next week for my breathing technique video.

Please leave a comment and like.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt”

Love Yourself

It is so important to LOVE YOURSELF!  Guess what, you are beautiful loving and kind!  You are not perfect, and that’s okay because nobody is.  I’m smiling at you.

It’s so hard after leaving an abusive spouse because we love them so much and we believe in them.  We think about the future and the thought of growing old with them.  

Speaking of your future – In reality, we really can’t have a future with  someone who is so selfish who plans to abuse us only because we are nice, caring, nurturing and empathetic.

He wined and dined us.  Used all the right words and we fell in love.  After that the games began.

Remember all the silent treatment.  Up and down mood swings.  All the times you thought you was going crazy.  You weren’t going crazy because, it was him who was playing games with you. 

All the times you took him back.  All the promises to change.  All the abuse. He built you up only to destroy you by bringing  you down.

It’s time to drop him mentally and physically.  Get your healing on and start loving yourself.

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Loving you:

  1. Get a solid relationship with God.
  2. Tell yourself positive things.
  3. Pamper yourself
  4. Read a good book
  5. Acknowledge that you are worthy to be loved
  6. Trust your inner voice
  7. Do something everyday that you like
  8. Build yourself up!
  9. Ask for help if you need it.
  10. Utilize breathing techniques

I pray these things help you like they helped me.

Please comment and share.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt” 

 

Healing

midsection of woman making heart shape with hands

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

The importance of healing.

When we forgive ourselves and/ or the person that hurt us, remember that it is for us!  We need forgiveness for healing. You ask “how do you know if you need healing?” You are always mad, angry or unpleasant.  When you hurt, it makes you sad, then it turns to anger.  After a while it builds into depression.

The wrong time to make life decisions is when you are hurt or angry.
A lot of times, when we are hurt, we can’t hear from God or trusted family and friends. It is usually because we lost our faith and refuse to trust anyone.

If you want to feel better and be your best self forgive and start your healing process.  Trust God! Renew your mind, body and soul. Remember you deserve it. Healing – Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt!

Thanks for visiting and reading.  Please leave a comment.

Come again.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Hurt”

Self-Worth

close up photo of a woman

Photo by Marlon Schmeiski on Pexels.com

Listen…no judgement. I’m writing from experience. Life has taught me to love myself. If I don’t love me, or value me no one else will. No one else will treat me better than I treat myself. Make time for you each day.  No phones, computers or interruptions.  Find a quiet space and focus on you.

I’m a child of the most high, so I must stand on that truth!

It all starts with me. Taking the best care I can of me.  If that means praying, speaking affirmations, exercising, eating a balanced meal and practicing breathing techniques then DO IT! .  I promise that you will not be disappointed.

When you are at your best self no one can put you down by telling lies to lower your self worth.  That’s what abusers do. They tell lies to make you think you are crazy.  You have to change the very thing that makes you special.

Our creator made us unique and special, no two people are alike.  Are we perfect? No. No one is, but that’s okay.

When I love someone, I love all of them, flaws too.  Is it wrong to want the same thing? No!

Love you and wait patiently until the right person comes along.

Be blessed,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Thanks for visiting and reading. Please leave a message and like.

Bracelets

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Faith Domestic Violence Survivor Bracelet
Faith Domestic Violence Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.
domesticviosexabusebracelet
Faith Domestic Violence and Sexual Abuse Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.
sexualabusebracelet
Faith Sexual Abuse Survivor Bracelet When you wear this bracelet it reminds you of God’s Promise “It’s Done” Without Faith there would not be a promise.

What Can We Do to Overcome Abuse

Hello Online Family and Friends,

We can overcome any thing we put our minds to, especially domestic violence and abuse.  Determination.  I did!  Now I am safe, I have joy and happiness.  I have forgiven my abusers and I have forgiven my seIf. I lived with my abuser for 15 years.  Because I moved too fast and lacked knowledge and support I spent another seven years in an abusive relationship. I cannot promise the road to overcoming abuse will be easy or the process time will be short but with support, knowledge and determination you can do it too.  What I can promise, is that you can do it.  We have to learn to love and trust ourselves again.  At a point in our lives we lost the love and trust,  and in turn, opened the door to the abuse.  Please understand that you did not deserve it.  People that abuse others learned that by watching others that abused.  They saw it as a way of control.  Somebody hurt them, so they hurt others.  If it never got dealt with, then the cycle of abuse continues.  Only when the cycle of abuse is broken, healing comes.  We thought we were in love and didn’t know the warning signs of abuse.  Once you realize you are in an abusive relationship seek help and support to plan and make a way of escape for you and your children.  Knowledge is power!   Counseling will help with you to  build and rebuild relationships.  The first step is to admit you are loved by God.  God is the true Healer.  You are Awesome, amazing and worth it and in control of your life.   We are the only one that can make decisions for ourselves and our children.  We have the power to keep ourselves and children safe and not worry about the next time. Live in a healthy environment because we know that we deserve the best.  God only wants the best for his Children and He will never leave or forsake us.  God’s word is the truth and we can depend on Him.  When you are free from your abuser, you will begin to learn how to live without them.  You begin to start your life anew.  Start walking, sleeping and eating the right way.  Do things that you use to do, that made you happy, like reading, writing, participating in or watching sporting events, just to name a few.  Now that you know, that you know, pass it on to others in need. The lesson is to keep control and watch out and know the warning signs to avoid. You will have a great relationship when the time is right.  And remember to pass love and encouragement on to someone else.

All the best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Break the Silence – Always Tell

What is Rape or Date Rape?

According to the dictionary rape means to force (someone) to have sex with you by using violence or the threat of violence. Date-Rape is the crime of forcing someone you know to have sex with you especially while on a date.

It hurt when you are raped. And it also hurt when some people asked questions like, “What were you wearing? Were you at his house?” It doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault.

For example:

If you wanted to at first and changed your mind. And they do it anyway, it’s wrong.

The person that raped you are at fault.

80% of rapes are carried out by someone you know. (Statistics from RAINN.org)

I was newly divorced, a single mom putting the pieces of my life back together. A friend of mine picked me up for a date. He invited me over to see a movie. I was awakened by him raping me. Happens next!

What happens after you have been raped?

You are not alone. Get to a safe place, tell a trusted friend or family member. Then go to the hospital to get your injuries treated and have a rape kit done.

Preparation before the rape kit:

1. Don’t eat or drink anything.
2. Don’t pee, brush your teeth or bathe.

I know, the first thing you want to do is shower or bathe. You can’t because they need the evidence. They also need to keep your clothes and underwear.

After the rape kit, you don’t have to talk to the police unless you want. If you go to the police station, you have three choices:

1. After the rape kit, you can press and file charges against your abuser. In some states if, you are filing charges they have funds available to pay for the hospital fees, visits and the lab work. They also can pay for loss wages and legal fees. So check with your state.

2. After the rape kit, you don’t have to press and file charges.

3. After the rape kit, you can file charges but you can do it without using your name on the documents.

The journey to recovery is hard, intense and long. Get involved in a local church. Strengthen your relationship with God, He is the true Healer. It is also important to have a good counselor and have a great support system.  Overcoming the trauma of rape remember that you are loved, you have worth and you are not responsible for what happen to you.

In my experience, you will have flashbacks and anxiety, but it is light at the end of your journey. Break the silence – Always tell and let the healing begin. Please post any questions or comments. Thanks for visiting and come again.