Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt & I Love ME books

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Comments about my book “Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt”

A powerful, rare view into the dark world of coercive control that also glitters with faith, courage, and resilience. Thank you for telling your story! Mary

 

Safety Plan – Domestic Violence and Abusse

This is to all my sisters living with domestic violence and abuse.   Are you confused living with your abusers,  not knowing how they are going to act from one minute to the next.  I was.  Wandering if it’s something that I have done.  We are continually changing  ourselves, not realizing they have the control to change themselves.  We all have choices to make, you have to decide what we say and do.  We don’t have to be abuse others.  Understand, you control your anger and emotions.  They can too.  I am not telling you nothing that I haven’t been through my self.  I had to learn this and I also had to get the strength to move on.

Before you leave, you must have a plan.   A successful plan that will keep you and your children safe.  Once you decide to leave or have left, please know,  these are the most dangerous times.

For one, your abuser don’t want you to go.  Secondly, once you leave your abuser is going to want you back.  So it is very important that you stay safe.  These are safety tips if you are planning to leave and some for after you have gone.

You are not alone, when I decide to leave my abuser I had to plan it out to keep my children safe.  Was it scary?  Yes.  Did I try to talk myself out of it?  Yes.  Did  I want my children to have their father? Yes.   But I also had to realize that he was hurting us.  He was not trying to change, so I had to do what I could to keep us safe.  Please use these tips whenever you decide to use them.

Planning to Leave

1. If you drive, leave the driver door unlooked, hide a extra key.

2. Have information papers, cash along with clothing for you and children in a safe place.

3. Have a cellphone or domestic violence cellphone to call 911.

4.  Make sure you are not being following and change your routes.

5. Learn special code words with your children, so you can use in case of  emergencies.

6. Memorize important numbers

7. Know shelters, crisis lines and churches in your area

8. Let your children schools, daycare know your situation to remove the abuser off the pick up form.

9.  Get outside help to assure you have a safe place to go.

10. Make sure you and the children learn a safe way out of the home in case of fire or violent attack.

11.  Know all the safe places in your neighborhood like hospitals, gas stations, police station and friends                  house.

12.  Make a budget?  Try to save money.

13.  Document any abuse with pictures, diary, and record phone calls.  This is helpful when you call the police and helpful after you leave.  You can get an order of protection and help with legal fees.

Once you Leave

1. Stay in well lighted areas.

2. Screen all phone calls, even after you change your number.

3.  Be careful when you use computers, cell phone, GPS, stores, telephone and utilities company all can give        your location.

4.  Get unlisted phone number

5.  Make sure you are not being followed.

6.  Change your routes often.

7.  Make sure you are the only one to pick up the children.

8.  Make sure the schools, daycare and your job know your situation.

9.  You are in a safe place

10.  If you have to see your abuser, make sure you are not alone and make sure it’s in a public place.

God bless you and be safe,

Denise

Faith from the Inside Out

Hi Family and Friends,

“Faith from the Inside Out” is a screenplay 2nd part of my book “Love Doesn’t have to Hurt”   With prayer I am developing and writing for families living with or surviving domestic violence.   “Faith from the Inside Out” purpose is to inspire,  change lives for a better you.  It’s about a series of life challenges designed for families, especially children.  It will be written,  Illustrated and easy to understand teaching about Faith, Love and Forgiveness.  It will satisfy curiosity and  promote growth  shown with vivid colors, drawing, coloring and reading.  Through the process learning without Faith ~ to ~ learning with Faith, Love and Forgiveness how it will work in your life.  Please look out for my new book series, that I have the pleasure and opportunity to share with you.  Please checkout this link from my Pastor Creflo Dollar

http://www.worldchangers.org/Monthly-ObeyFaith.aspx

the best,

Denise

The Keys to Empowerment ~ end domestic violence

Hi Everyone,

It is very important that we make a difference.  And that difference is showing love. What Legacy will you leave for others to follow?

Speaking from experience, I learned being positive in everything you do and say will promote Empowerment for healthy life.  If that mean forgive my abuser then I forgive.
Remembering Love doesn’t have to hurt.  And I think my abuser is hurting and he took it out on the person closest to him.

What’s in a man’s heart, so is he, which I find this statement to be true. Whatever is going on in the inside of you will come out or show on the outside. What difference are you making in the lives of others?  What Legacy are you leaving or setting for others to follow?

The Keys to Empowerment:Forgiving your abuser

  • Think positive
  • Surround yourself with positive people
  • Have a forgiving heart
  • Make a difference
  • Give your money, time, and resources to others.
  • Learn and teach a life skill, like sewing, difference language, tutoring
  • Knowing when to be quiet
  • Listen to others
  • Stop judging
  • If you wasn’t an eyewitness then don’t share it or tell others
  • Let everything you do and say line up with God.
Thank you for reading, God bless you and keep smiling
Denise