Focus on the Possibilities

Good morning, today is a new day.  Let’s talk about using the things that has hurt you or your failures to inspire your greatness.

Most of us has a story. Turn your negative into a positive by helping someone else.

I encourage you to learn from your life experiences and turn a negative into a positive to work toward growth and development to better your life.

Remember your Failures and your Success equals Growth.

Pressure makes rubies and diamonds, so Grace Girls be empower to start turning a negative situation into positive possibilities.  

Relax and focus on your passion. Think about what you can do with thinking about it?

Find your purpose.

After you find your purpose set goals. For example, I mentor women dealing with domestic violence and abuse. I work at a domestic violence shelter. I am a believer and I love what I do.

Empowering Grace Girls and my goal is to open a Grace Girls home. The vision to Make a Difference.

My first step is to set daily, weekly, and monthly goals. I will work on my plan everyday. Planning is the most important step and God will do the rest. If I can write it out, I can achieve it.

Always remember to make a plan. Thanks for reading and come again.

Comments are always welcome.

blessings,

Denise

Believe

love-11Hello,   How many of us are still living by our emotions?  In God’s unchanging Word, it is wise not to live by our emotions.

Our emotions will guide us in the wrong direction.  Emotions change! Domestic violence and abuse affects our emotions instead of what we see. Believe in what you see your abuser do and say.  It will lead you to safety.

God wants us to be stable in all our ways. Domestic violence and abuse is not stable. It’s like living with two completely different people.

believeOnly you know when enough is enough.  You do deserve the best of what life can offer you. Key point, don’t follow your feelings or emotions, but focus on the facts. The Principle. Take care.

Peace and blessings,

Denise

Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt

Forgiveness

Love“Can you do anything Right?” I just stood not moving, knowing I was doing my best.  God taught me to love with a pure heart. It’s hard to forgive the person that you trusted with your heart, love and life. You thought they love you the most because of their words. The betrayal. That person abused you for years.  The one person that you thought loved you, but they’re putting you down.  Telling you that you can’t do anything right. Called you out your name, and blamed you for their faults and mistakes.

When your spouse is hurting you they’re hurting themselves, because you are One.  But you must forgive. You have to learn how to deal with life’s hard knocks. We can do it, with hard work and determination. Forgiveness is for you. Us. Your life will truly change if you forgive.

The Process…Think about it?

We must find the love, the courage to forgive them. When you forgive them, only to free yourself. When you forgive them it is not only pleasing to God but it will be pleasing to you as well.  We must live our life to do good and that same goodness will one day come back to us.  Don’t worry it will find you.

It’s also wise to forgive when you have children together. Children love unconditional, with that being said your children will love the abuser anyway.  Please never talk bad about the other person.  Your children will find out in other ways.

What happens…..When you forgive:
1. You free yourself
2. You don’t feel anger or hate when someone bring up their name.
3. The thought of them, don’t mess you up inside.

4.Effect your day.
5. When you can stand to face them and be great.
6. Hear their voice. Remember what happen without the pain.

7.  You feel love and then you want to continue to share that love.

8.  You tell others, so they can be feel to love too.  After all, sharing is caring!

Victory
You must forgive everyone that hurt you. When you’re able to forgive, that’s when you’re healing process begins. Once your start you’re healing process, yes, it will hurt at first. Each day will get better and better.

Then you will grow and discover the love and beauty within you. Like a beautiful butterfly, blossoming flower, or praise dancing or Like a boy becoming a man.

I telling you this process because I lived with my abuser so many years and I have forgiven him and myself.  Forgiveness is so beautiful and its a gift you give yourself.  Forgiveness is Victory

Define what is forgiveness? Forgive, forgiveness is to give up resentment of or claim to requital for an insult. Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Please read what the Bible say about Forgiveness in a Biblical article.

Forgiveness is letting go of hurt and pain.

Thanks for reading and come again.

Bless,

Denise

Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt

Leave comments.

Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt Appreciate Life

I don’t know your story, but I’m going to share my story with you.

Your abuser is not going to change, unless he wants too.  Domestic violence is power and control over their initiate partner.

It’s my passion to educate little girls, teens and women about domestic violence and abuse to discuss keys to a healthy relationship.

To talk about your hurt and pain is freeing. First step to heal the little girl inside of you.  Remember all things are possible through Jesus Christ! The sky is the limit.  

We have to model positive words, deeds, and actions to show girls they are worthy.  To let them know they are to be treated with love and respect. 

I am so thankful and blessed!  I can share hope of healing from domestic violence and together we can end domestic violence.

My book “Love Doesn’t have to Hurt”  is an inspirational guide for women dealing with the topic of domestic violence and abuse.  The release date is scheduled for October 2020.

newlovedoesnthavetohurtbookcover2016

Love Yourself

It is so important to LOVE YOURSELF!  Guess what, you are beautiful loving and kind!  You are not perfect, and that’s okay because nobody is.  I’m smiling at you.

It’s so hard after leaving an abusive spouse because we love them so much and we believe in them.  We think about the future and the thought of growing old with them.  

Speaking of your future – In reality, we really can’t have a future with  someone who is so selfish who plans to abuse us only because we are nice, caring, nurturing and empathetic.

He wined and dined us.  Used all the right words and we fell in love.  After that the games began.

Remember all the silent treatment.  Up and down mood swings.  All the times you thought you was going crazy.  You weren’t going crazy because, it was him who was playing games with you. 

All the times you took him back.  All the promises to change.  All the abuse. He built you up only to destroy you by bringing  you down.

It’s time to drop him mentally and physically.  Get your healing on and start loving yourself.

e7e1f1f25c105ddb829758108b8a19e2

Loving you:

  1. Get a solid relationship with God.
  2. Tell yourself positive things.
  3. Pamper yourself
  4. Read a good book
  5. Acknowledge that you are worthy to be loved
  6. Trust your inner voice
  7. Do something everyday that you like
  8. Build yourself up!
  9. Ask for help if you need it.
  10. Utilize breathing techniques

I pray these things help you like they helped me.

Please comment and share.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt” 

 

Jewelry for Survivors

Hello Everyone, it is always a pleasure to share with you.  Check out this jewelry for a cause  – for survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse, emotional and financial abuse.

mkt.com/skycustomdesigns

Please leave a comment and share with others.

Be blessed,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Rebuilding after Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse

Ladies,

When was the last time you did something for you?  What makes you happy?  What brings you joy?  Read a good book?  Had a facial? If you can’t answer, then it’s time you start PAMPERING  YOU!

You are so beautiful, loving and kind.  You spend so much of your time focusing on others.  Yes, they appreciate it.  And you feel good also. I know it’s hard rebuilding yourself after an abusive relationship. The journey is long but we are worth it.

Everyday we should thank God, eat a balanced meal, exercise, drink plenty of water and pray.

It’s also nice to have some me time.  If you love and appreciate yourself.  spend time with yourself, then you can carry so much more love over to others.  Joy and happiness comes from you and no one else.  Your family, friends and others may positively affect your mood sometimes.

Others love to be around people that are likable.

1.  Think about what you love about yourself?

2.  What makes you happy?

3.  What brings you joy?

4.  Instead of focusing on celebrating once you get that new job, or make your next million, have fun now!  Celebrate each day that God gives you breath.

Be blessed,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

How to Stand in Your Power After You Leave

Hello to everyone

To those of you who have been in an abusive relationship and found the courage to leave, we are not alone.  We are still standing! We are standing in our truth!  We are standing in our strength! We are standing in our Power!  Many of us had to make the decision to leave the person who told us they loved us the most.  But remember,  “Love doesn’t have to hurt”.

I am so glad you decided to leave and you are in a safe place.  The most important thing is that you and your children are safe.  And if you don’t have children, then you are safe.

When I left my abusive relationship I had a girlfriend that I confided in and I also attended counseling with an agency for domestic violence in my area.  If you have a girlfriend, family member or are residing in a shelter, praise God you are safe.

Yes, you are going to miss him and yes, he is going to try to convince you to come back home, if he knows where you are.  Continue to be strong and each day it will get easier and easier.  Stand in your power after leaving!

What helped me after taking him back a thousand times was to start journaling. When I thought about all the good times, which didn’t amount to a lot, I read the journal again to keep me focused on what I had to do. I also realized that he really didn’t love me and didn’t care about me and I am better without him.  I grew tired of listening to the broken promises and dreams. I also realized that he choose me because I had a good heart and spirit, only to use me. Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt.

If you decide to go back, be safe and have a safety plan and back up plan in place. Make sure he attends counseling for domestic violence.  Regular counseling or anger management will not address the problems of domestic violence.

It took me awhile to get to where I am today. I left and went back to him several times before I finally left for good.  Never forget that God loves you and you are beautiful and very special.  Love yourself and be safe.

Thanks for reading and share. Please leave a comment.

Best and be safe,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

8 Tips on How to safely leave an Abusive Relationship

I understand, it’s not your fault.  So don’t blame yourself.  Nobody wakes up and says they want to be in an abusive relationship.  I am an expert on this issue because I am a survivor of domestic violence.  I want to provide valuable resources to help you.

leaving

One day you are in love, trusting the love of your life, spending time with your best friend and planning your future. Then, realizing the one person you trust and love unconditionally are telling you ugly horrible things, even going as far as hitting and abusing you.  The ultimate betrayal.

Steps you need to take if you are leaving…

  1. First, you have to realize you are in an abusive relationship and it’s not your fault. Set your mind on leaving.
  2. The key point is changing the way you think.
  3. Start putting money away, collecting important documents and keeping a journal.
  4. Plan your trip and where you are going to stay.
  5. Leave when your abuser is not home.
  6. Change your phone number.
  7. Reconnect and communicate with family and friends.
  8. Have support systems in place and attend group counseling.

Thank you for visiting and reading my article on tips on leaving an abusive relationship.  Feel free to share with others and leave a comment. I will include a Safety Plan and Steps for starting an Order of Protection in the next two articles.

Best,

Denise Hardnett

“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”

Part 2 of Forgiveness Introducing my Guest Blogger

A couple weeks ago we talked about Forgiveness. My guest blogger is Vivian.  I interviewed Vivian on the steps of forgiveness she’s taken.  Bringing Part 2 of Forgiveness

Vivian’s word of wisdom on Forgiveness. Vivian’s speaking from experience, while growing up she had to endure betrayal from people that supposed to love her.

Learning to forgive and let go of the past. The past doesn’t mean last year, it could be last week, or even yesterday.

Step 1
Give your life to Jesus Christ and have Relationship with God
The first thing, realize the Love of God. John 3:16
The first fruit of the Spirit is Love
Manifest that Love, and walk in the fruit of the Spirit.
First Fruit is the Spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Long-Suffering, Goodness, Kindness, Faithfulness, Meekness and Self-Control.

Step 2
Read Psalms 23 Daily That I may see God face in the scriptures

Step 3
Believe

Step 4

If you never forgive, how can you go or move forward?

Think of this: “If you say I forgive you butI will never forget.” Then if you are always bring it up then you’re still in bondage to it. Meaning you haven’t forgiven.

When you truly forgive…
True forgiven comes through the Grace of God because God takes the hurt and pain out of it. God gives you his Beauty for our ashes.

Quote
I can forgive but It can’t forget, its only another way of saying I will not forgive. A Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note, torn in two and burned up, so that it can never be shown against the person.
Henry Ward Beecher

Please leave comments and share my blog with others.

 

Best,

Denise