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Monthly Archives: October 2019
Jewelry for Survivors
Hello Everyone, it is always a pleasure to share with you. Check out this jewelry for a cause – for survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse, emotional and financial abuse.
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Please leave a comment and share with others.
Be blessed,
Denise Hardnett
“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”
Rebuilding after Domestic Violence and Emotional Abuse
Ladies,
When was the last time you did something for you? What makes you happy? What brings you joy? Read a good book? Had a facial? If you can’t answer, then it’s time you start PAMPERING YOU!
You are so beautiful, loving and kind. You spend so much of your time focusing on others. Yes, they appreciate it. And you feel good also. I know it’s hard rebuilding yourself after an abusive relationship. The journey is long but we are worth it.
Everyday we should thank God, eat a balanced meal, exercise, drink plenty of water and pray.
It’s also nice to have some me time. If you love and appreciate yourself. spend time with yourself, then you can carry so much more love over to others. Joy and happiness comes from you and no one else. Your family, friends and others may positively affect your mood sometimes.
Others love to be around people that are likable.
1. Think about what you love about yourself?
2. What makes you happy?
3. What brings you joy?
4. Instead of focusing on celebrating once you get that new job, or make your next million, have fun now! Celebrate each day that God gives you breath.
Be blessed,
Denise Hardnett
“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”
What Can We Do to Overcome Abuse
Hello Online Family and Friends,
We can overcome any thing we put our minds to, especially domestic violence and abuse. Determination. I did! Now I am safe, I have joy and happiness. I have forgiven my abusers and I have forgiven my seIf. I lived with my abuser for 15 years. Because I moved too fast and lacked knowledge and support I spent another seven years in an abusive relationship. I cannot promise the road to overcoming abuse will be easy or the process time will be short but with support, knowledge and determination you can do it too. What I can promise, is that you can do it. We have to learn to love and trust ourselves again. At a point in our lives we lost the love and trust, and in turn, opened the door to the abuse. Please understand that you did not deserve it. People that abuse others learned that by watching others that abused. They saw it as a way of control. Somebody hurt them, so they hurt others. If it never got dealt with, then the cycle of abuse continues. Only when the cycle of abuse is broken, healing comes. We thought we were in love and didn’t know the warning signs of abuse. Once you realize you are in an abusive relationship seek help and support to plan and make a way of escape for you and your children. Knowledge is power! Counseling will help with you to build and rebuild relationships. The first step is to admit you are loved by God. God is the true Healer. You are Awesome, amazing and worth it and in control of your life. We are the only one that can make decisions for ourselves and our children. We have the power to keep ourselves and children safe and not worry about the next time. Live in a healthy environment because we know that we deserve the best. God only wants the best for his Children and He will never leave or forsake us. God’s word is the truth and we can depend on Him. When you are free from your abuser, you will begin to learn how to live without them. You begin to start your life anew. Start walking, sleeping and eating the right way. Do things that you use to do, that made you happy, like reading, writing, participating in or watching sporting events, just to name a few. Now that you know, that you know, pass it on to others in need. The lesson is to keep control and watch out and know the warning signs to avoid. You will have a great relationship when the time is right. And remember to pass love and encouragement on to someone else.
All the best,
Denise Hardnett
“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”
How to Stand in Your Power After You Leave
Hello to everyone
To those of you who have been in an abusive relationship and found the courage to leave, we are not alone. We are still standing! We are standing in our truth! We are standing in our strength! We are standing in our Power! Many of us had to make the decision to leave the person who told us they loved us the most. But remember, “Love doesn’t have to hurt”.
I am so glad you decided to leave and you are in a safe place. The most important thing is that you and your children are safe. And if you don’t have children, then you are safe.
When I left my abusive relationship I had a girlfriend that I confided in and I also attended counseling with an agency for domestic violence in my area. If you have a girlfriend, family member or are residing in a shelter, praise God you are safe.
Yes, you are going to miss him and yes, he is going to try to convince you to come back home, if he knows where you are. Continue to be strong and each day it will get easier and easier. Stand in your power after leaving!
What helped me after taking him back a thousand times was to start journaling. When I thought about all the good times, which didn’t amount to a lot, I read the journal again to keep me focused on what I had to do. I also realized that he really didn’t love me and didn’t care about me and I am better without him. I grew tired of listening to the broken promises and dreams. I also realized that he choose me because I had a good heart and spirit, only to use me. Love Doesn’t Have to Hurt.
If you decide to go back, be safe and have a safety plan and back up plan in place. Make sure he attends counseling for domestic violence. Regular counseling or anger management will not address the problems of domestic violence.
It took me awhile to get to where I am today. I left and went back to him several times before I finally left for good. Never forget that God loves you and you are beautiful and very special. Love yourself and be safe.
Thanks for reading and share. Please leave a comment.
Best and be safe,
Denise Hardnett
“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”
8 Tips on How to safely leave an Abusive Relationship
I understand, it’s not your fault. So don’t blame yourself. Nobody wakes up and says they want to be in an abusive relationship. I am an expert on this issue because I am a survivor of domestic violence. I want to provide valuable resources to help you.
One day you are in love, trusting the love of your life, spending time with your best friend and planning your future. Then, realizing the one person you trust and love unconditionally are telling you ugly horrible things, even going as far as hitting and abusing you. The ultimate betrayal.
Steps you need to take if you are leaving…
- First, you have to realize you are in an abusive relationship and it’s not your fault. Set your mind on leaving.
- The key point is changing the way you think.
- Start putting money away, collecting important documents and keeping a journal.
- Plan your trip and where you are going to stay.
- Leave when your abuser is not home.
- Change your phone number.
- Reconnect and communicate with family and friends.
- Have support systems in place and attend group counseling.
Thank you for visiting and reading my article on tips on leaving an abusive relationship. Feel free to share with others and leave a comment. I will include a Safety Plan and Steps for starting an Order of Protection in the next two articles.
Best,
Denise Hardnett
“Love Doesn’t Have To Hurt”
Children living in home with Domestic Abuse
Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over another person. Statistics states 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime. With that being said, think about how many children that’s experiencing domestic violence in the home.
Children living in a home with domestic abuse is more times likely to be depressed, have anxiety and afraid. They also suffer abuse and neglect 30% to 60%. More than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year. And the third leading cause of homelessness among families.
Domestic violence is not just a family thing but it’s a community thing. It cost more than $37 billion a year in law enforcement involvement, legal work and medical treatment. This is what I mean- Parents we are responsible for our children. Take our babies to church and learn the ways of Jesus Christ. When our babies grow up with good manners and morals and love God. When you love God, you will love yourself and you will choose good. It might not work this way for everybody but it’s better than doing nothing.
When you are broken mentally and physically you are vulnerable. It’s easier for you to live with domestic violence and abuse. Please think of your children. If you are living with domestic violence get help. It is time to save you and your children. God loves you and you deserve the best.
Signs of Physical Abuse on Children
1. Bruise, burns, cuts, broken bones, scars
2. Acting out at home and school.
3. Shy away
4. Sudden jumping, flinches thinking you are going to get hit.
Signs of Emotional Abuse on Children
1. Attitude and mood changes.
2.Bedwetting and developmental delays
3. Doesn’t bond with abusive parent
4. Withdrawn
5. Passive behavior
6. Rocking or thumbsucking.
Signs of Sexual Abuse on Children
1. Sexually touching other children.
2.Depression.
3. Afraid to be alone.
4. Pain, itching and bleeding from private parts.
5. It’s hurts to walk or sit.
6. Suicide
Practice safety plan and teach your children word that you would say when you need help from your abuser.
Be safe,
Denise
Leave any comments or questions.
